Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Porpoise Bay... hmmm.. actually, Torture Bay

Disclaimer: It truly is stunningly beautiful and relaxing at Porpoise Bay. There is truly nothing wrong with those I had to travel with nor with the location. It's me who is the problem.

As soon as Kitty got out of school, Hubby, Kitty and I took some time off work and went to spend some time at our friend’s ocean-side cottage. Some friends of ours own a cottage (actually a 2 storey house) on the water at Porpoise Bay – a 45-minute Ferry ride and another hour’s drive after that, from Vancouver. Kitty finished school on June 11 and we headed up the next day. It’s a lovely location – however, without sounding ungrateful, it’s a little too rustic for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I love our friends and what they did. They are wonderful, wonderful people… but I’m a modern, big-city girl. I have never camped a day in my life (sleeping in a bunk-bed in a cabin while accompanying Kitty to Brownie Camp is the closest I’ve ever come to Camping and it was a huge accomplishment on my part) and it’s not that staying at our friends was anything like camping but I don’t do mosquitoes, bugs, insects, … actually anything “nature-like” very well at all. Let’s face it; I would never survive on Survivor. In fact, I would likely last shorter than Spencer and Heidi Pratt on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here”. I’m just not a nature girl and I’m okay with it.

We arrived just before lunch at the cottage. Paul was in the midst of making lunch for all of us when Annalisa arrived after shopping in the little town of Sechelt. The first thing she said was, “Paul, did you remove the spider from the tub” like it was the most natural thing in the world to say… kinda like, what did you do while I was in town?

Spider? Tub? What Spider? Oh My Gosh, I have to be in the Tub with a Spider? My mind is racing at the thought of a Spider … up to this point; I hadn’t once thought that Spiders would exist at the Cottage. What the hell was I thinking? Of course, they would be at the cottage. They are freaking everywhere. I’m almost hyperventilating when my husband looks at me, sees the panic on my face and says to Annalisa, is it dead? To which Annalisa responds, oh no. It’s still alive; it just can’t climb out of the tub. We don’t kill Spiders. We just let them outside.

Me: What the hell do you mean you don’t kill spiders? You just let them outside? If you let them outside, they’ll just come back inside. I need to leave! I need to leave! I need to leave!

Then Annalisa says: You’re not terrified of Spiders are you? It’s a little big. It’s a Wolf Spider.

Me: Oh My Gosh! A Wolf Spider. (I have no idea what a Wolf Spider is. I’ve never seen one before but I don’t like spiders and I know I’m not going to like a Wolf Spider. Of course in my mind, I’m thinking that this Wolf Spider is probably the side of that Spider that lived in the Woods in that Harry Potter movie. You know the one, where all its off-springs feed on any human or animal that comes near its web?

So off Paul goes to pick up the Wolf Spider and let it out the back door. I’m freaked beyond freaked and my lovely husband turns to me and says… “This isn’t your scene, is it?” I shake my head in agreement. He asks if I want to leave and since I really didn’t want to disappoint Kitty since she’d been looking forward to this visit for a while, I say no and try desperately to forget what’s just happened.

After lunch, Kitty and the kids head to the beach. They’re not out the door for more than 10 minutes when Annalisa says, “Don’t worry about Bears, we haven’t seen any this year yet”. Bears???? What!!!! My baby might run into a Bear???!! My husband looks over at me and says, I’m thinking of going for a walk so I’ll go down and check on Kitty and the boys. Phew! Bears!

This is going to be one long freaking 10 days. I think I’ll go home today. By myself. Just me. Alone with no Spiders.... or Bears, for that matter. Okay, we have Bears around our area - but I've never actually seen one. So in my mind, they don't exist. Right? Right!

But I make up my mind that I’m going to be fine. I just have to make sure that no spiders come into our bedroom and into our bed and no spiders come into the washroom when I’m peeing or taking a shower. I just have to be on the lookout. I’m going to be fine. Really. I’m going to be just fine.

Well, I’m glad to report that I didn’t see at Wolf Spiders during our time at the cottage – and let me tell you… I was really on the lookout. I made sure that our sheets and comforter did not touch the floor when we slept. There was a few times where I thought that there was a spider in bed with us but I think it was just my nerves. I flipped the comforter and the sheets completely back before going to bed each evening (to check to make sure that we didn’t have any unwelcomed visitors) and got Kitty to check the washroom before I entered. All in all, it turned out pretty good, I think. Although I think that our friends are certain that I’m completely neurotic. But I’m okay with that!

Kitty found some baby crabs which she let crawl all over her and that truly freaked me out completely. She would come and show them to me and I had to restrain from running away, all the while I was screaming on the inside, “ACK, get away from me, get away from me. No, I don’t want to see these things crawling on you”. But I was taking one for the team and being a sport.

Hubby and Kitty went fishing with the kids where they had to hook live worms as bait and then when they caught a fish, they had to remove the slimy thing off the hook. YUCK! But Hubby and Kitty had a grand ol’ time doing that.

I, well, I read a lot and napped during the day … I think I napped so much because I didn’t get to sleep very much during the night for fear that I was going to have to share my bed with a creepy-crawly! It still gives me the shivers thinking about it.

What did I learn from this trip…? I’ve learnt that I don’t want to own a cottage. In fact, I would like to not go to a cottage again. Hubby and I have always talked about buying a cottage either ocean-front or lake-front but after this trip, I’ve decided that I’m fine without owing a cottage. I would rather spend the money somewhere else… not quite sure where yet for there are spiders everywhere….. I just have to find a place where there are small, teeny spiders, not ones the side of my freaking palm. I’m not a nature girl and I’m okay with that.


xxx said...

Girlfriend, add me to the not-a-nature-gal 'camp' (hee hee). Nature confuses and frightens me. No, sir, I don't want any part of it! (:

Chloe said...

I'm also not a camper. NOT. A CAMPER. We're going camping this weekend. WISH ME LUCK!

(I'm happy to say that our camping will be staying in a hotel while our friends camp and have the boat...but the only pet-friendly hotel in the area doesn't have a website. What kind of hotel doesn't have a website nowadays?! I'm totally freaked out. Argh.)

C said...

here's the bad news for you: the wolf spider is big! I think that instead of laying eggs, the Momma wolf gives birth to little live babies. Here's the good news: since it's Canada, you really do not have too many herps (snakes, big lizards) and you flat out do not have scorpions! Think twice about Costa Rica.... (I like nature, but I do like hot baths and modern plumbing.)

Crew_Girl_In_Canada said...

xxx: Glad to hear I'm not alone on this one. :)

Chloe: Camping in a hotel is good. Very Good! Good good luck nonetheless - seeing that your hotel does not have website. By any chance, is it owned by the Bates? Sorry, just kidding!

Have a fantabulous, Hot Water, Modern Plumbing, A/C, Soft Warm Bed weekend Chloe!

C: Regular Spiders lay eggs? And Wolf spiders give birth to live babies? I didn't know that and that applies to both! I've never given much thought about where they come from. I just know that I don't like Spiders and when I see one, I'm normally screaming at the top of my lungs.. "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!" I don't like Lizards, Snakes or Scorpions either. Thanks for the heads up on Costa Rica. Shiver!

Zoë Moët said...

I feel your pain. Just hearing you talk about spiders has made every tickle or itch make me jump out of my skin!