As you know, my daughter Kitty (not her real name) is 9 years old. She came home from school yesterday in a bit of a funk. When I asked her what was bothering her, she said nothing… even though I knew that something was up. But knowing that she tends to clam-up when I push too hard, I thought I’d leave it alone.
Then she asked “Mommy, am I busy this weekend?” I didn’t quite understand her question so I asked her to explain. She said, “Mommy, am I playing ball this weekend?” I told her, I didn’t know. My husband, her dad, is the baseball coach and he’s in charge of the ball schedule. When I asked why she wanted to know, she said… in a somewhat teary voice… “Alexia is having a birthday party this weekend. The girls are all going in a Limo to a spa and she didn’t invite me.” I asked her how she’d come to know about this, she replied, “Alexia told the class about it on Wednesday. And when I asked her why I wasn’t invited, she told me that she thought that I was busy. Am I busy this weekend, Mommy?”
My heart was absolutely breaking for my little girl. Kitty has never ever experienced rejection before. Kitty’s one of those girls whom all other girls gravitate towards. She’s a brilliant child with a quiet personality - much preferring to play with one or two girls at most. She hates the spotlight and shies away from being the centre of attention. But for some reason, many girls want to be Kitty’s friend. I truly thank God for this for she would have no friends if they didn’t gravitate towards her – for we all know that she won’t gravitate towards them.
Kitty then went on to tell me, “I really don’t think Alexia wants me at her party because she acted like she didn’t care about me.” At which point, she burst into tears. This absolutely broke my heart. I tried my darndest to console her but she was inconsolable. I tried explaining to her that not everyone gets invited to every party but that didn’t help. For the first time ever in my life – there was nothing I could say to stop Kitty from crying. She was so hurt. In her very own words, she said “she felt rejected.” And it was the rejection that hurt the most.
We chatted again this morning and she was doing much better. She had gotten over the hurt and pain of her first ever rejection. She understood and accepted Alexis’ decision not to invite her. She also learnt that thing won’t always go her way and she was fine with that.
Interestingly, Alexis’ mother Ashia emailed me this morning inviting Kitty to Alexis’ birthday party. I received the invite with mixed emotions. On one hand I was thrilled for Kitty – for Alexis is a friend of hers and they have play dates often (however – Ashia and I are not remotely close), but on the other I cannot help but wonder if Ashia’s invite was out of guilt or possibly pity. I would hate for anyone to invite Kitty out of pity.
Knowing how much Kitty wanted to go to the party, I emailed Ashia and advised her that Kitty would love to attend…. Only to find out late this afternoon from my darling husband that Kitty has to play ball after all. ARGH! The ballgame is at 2pm and runs to 3:30pm. Alexis’ party starts at 3pm – the girls are getting picked up by Limo at 3pm to be driven from West Vancouver to Coquitlam to the Spa then it’s off to dinner. Ashia expects that the party will wind down at 8:30pm. Problem is, the 3 of us (Hubby, Kitty and I) have a Dinner Party to attend at 6pm.
WHAT DO I DO??????
Hubby thinks that Kitty should just ditch the party.
I think that Kitty should ditch Ball and go to the party and we should pick her up at before dinner so that the 3 of us can go to the Dinner Party.
I haven’t asked Kitty what she thinks yet. I’m sure she’ll want to ditch the ball game as well as the dinner party and just attend the b’day party.
What do you think Kitty should do? This is all driving me nuts!!!
On a completely different note, one of my favorite blogs – Bergdorf Blondes, is no longer available. I know that Shasta had said that she was going Private and to email her if I wanted to continue following her. But when I clicked on her link, I found that her blog had disappeared! Where in the world is Shasta Bergdorf Blondes? Shasta, if you’re reading this, please drop me a line to tell me that you’re okay.