Barbie was quite the water-cooler talk around the office today and I've come to the conclusion that I must have been the only girl that did not play with Barbie growing up.
It's true. I've never had a Barbie Doll. I remember owning a knock-off Barbie - which I absolutely hated because she had short curly hair - which reminded me of Lucy on the "I Love Lucy" show. I didn't want a stupid Lucy Ricardo look-alike doll. I wanted a beautiful sexy Barbie! But all I had was a stupid doll that looked like Lucy Ricardo. Who here thinks that Lucy Ricardo could pass off as a Sex Pot Barbie? Exactly!!!
And so I had my stupid curly-haired doll. And because she was a knock-off, her head kept popping off and when I tried sticking her head back onto her knob-like neck, her face would get all squished and indented in. I really hated her. It wasn't long before I ended up cutting off all of her hair - which made her look like a Hare Krishna devotee. I wish my parents had just given me a freaking Barbie instead.
The Barbie I wanted more than life itself was the Sunset Malibu Barbie. I remember going to the Toy Department at Robinson's as a little girl with my mom, looking at all those different Barbie Dolls - and in particular, the Sunset Malibu Barbie, and all those fabulous Barbie clothes with those tiny little high-heeled shoes and those dainty little hangers and that fabulous pink doll-house, you know the one - the one with the pink elevator and the Barbie Convertible.... I wanted all those but I never did get a Barbie, or the shoes or the clothes or the hangers or the house with the cool elevator or the car for that matter. I didn't get any of those.
My parents (while I absolutely love them) did not believe in spoiling us kids - my brother and I (it's not like we came from a family of 24 kids where money was tight and putting food on the table was a miracle). There was only 2 of us for pete's sake! And despite the fact that we came from an upper middle-class family with 2 working parents and a nanny, my parents just did not believe in buying us many toys - they just didn't spoil us that way.
I must have been around 6 or 7 when I told my mom that I really wanted the Sunset Malibu Barbie. Crazy as it sounds, I remember her telling me to save my allowance to buy it. In those days, my allowance was 25 cents a week! Needless to say, I never ever got around to buying myself a Barbie Doll for everytime I went to the mall, my allowance went towards buying me a freshly made Cotton-Candy Cone. Man, those Cotton Candy Cones were fabulous!
So then, my Cotton Candy Cone and I would stand for, what felt like, hours in the Barbie section of the toy department looking over those boxes of Barbie Dolls while my mom shopped for other things in the Department store.
The ironic thing is, my Grandmother, had a number of Barbie Dolls which she would crochet and don these hedious wool Ballroom-style outfits in Vomit Baby Green, Barf Baby Blue and Pukey Baby Pink. They were butt-ugly and I really never took much interest in her Barbies. I just loved the ones in the store.
So, on Barbie's 50th Birthday, Mom, I have only 1 question for you? Why the hell couldn't you have just purchased a freaking damn Barbie Doll for me???!!!!!